January 31, 2009

A Poem

I’m sorry, but I wrote this for some reason and had to share it.

Last night, the GOP came to DC
to choose a brand-new chairman: who’d it be?


There’s Steele, there’s Katon Dawson, and there’s Saul
There’s Blackwell, there’s Mike Duncan — and that’s all.
(Oh, wait, no, there’s Chip Saltsman. “Huh? Who’s he?”
The one whose campaign bombed from that CD…)

Committee members packed in the hotel
And all received their ballots, time would tell
Exactly who the victor soon would be
Who’d win the prize to head the RNC

One ballot passed: Mike Duncan was ahead
But his low margin foreshadowed the red

A second ballot cast, Steele earned a tie!
‘Twould not be long ’til Mike would say goodbye…

Another ballot cast, and he dropped out
If not, he’d be defeated in a rout

A fourth was cast and Dawson surged ahead!
So Blackwell dropped out, raised his hand and said:
“The old party of Lincoln we must be
If we are to revive the GOP!
So Michael Steele is who I do endorse
To guide us on this just and righteous course!”

The crowd erupted in a deaf’ning roar
And Michael Steele reclaimed the lead once more!
Anuzis finally backed out, at long last
So that the final ballot could be cast.

The tension rose, the pressure was unreal –
And then results came in: it’s Chairman Steele!

So after all six ballots, all six fights
K. Dawson lost ’cause of a club for whites
Anuzis lost ’cause he was just plain bad
And Blackwell by the so-cons had been had
Mike Duncan never really had a chance
And Steele was doing quite a happy dance…

by @ 5:22 am. Filed under Misc., RNC Chair
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16 Responses to “A Poem”

  1. Danny Says:

    A+

  2. Heath Says:

    If journalism doesn’t work out for you ……….

  3. OHIO JOE Says:

    If you lose your day job, you can always run for National Poet! Good one.

  4. MarkG Says:

    Hmm…

    Maybe it’s time to pull the plug on your sleep-deprivation experiment. :-)

  5. JA Pruce Says:

    I was very impressed with Steele’s win yesterday and in him I saw the leadership, charisma and ambition of a man who has the potential to become the first Republican African-American President of the United States.

  6. OHIO JOE Says:

    Maybe someday JA Pruce, but I for one am not ready to jump the gun and go that far. However, I would not mind Mr. Steele becoming America’s first African American President. Ethnically, Mr. Obama is half American and half African, but it is a bit of a stretch to say Mr. Obama is the first African American President. Haha.

  7. Alex Knepper Says:

    I refuse to use the term “African-American.” I’m trying to purge it from my vocabulary.

    I don’t see how Steele ever has an opening to run for the presidency.

    The most plausible pathway is that he does an amazing job as RNC chair, leaves in January 2011, does something high-profile in the party — but what? And then gets tapped as VP in 2012. Then, the Republican wins and Steele is the next nominee.

    That is one difficult, perfect-storm-style path.

    I don’t see him ever being president.

  8. Illinoisguy Says:

    Don’t quit your day job Alex! BTW, isn’t a poem supposed to have a cadence to it?

  9. marK Says:

    #8,

    Not really. Some have very subtle cadences. Some have none at all.

    Try this one by Leigh Hunt:

    Abou Ben Adhem (may his tribe increase!)
    Awoke one night from a deep dream of peace,
    And saw, within the moonlight in his room,
    Making it rich, and like a lily in bloom,
    An Angel writing in a book of gold:

    Exceeding peace had made Ben Adhem bold,
    And to the Presence in the room he said,
    “What writest thou?” The Vision raised its head,
    And with a look made of all sweet accord
    Answered, “The names of those who love the Lord.”

    “And is mine one?” said Abou. “Nay, not so,”
    Replied the Angel. Abou spoke more low,
    But cheerily still; and said, “I pray thee, then,
    Write me as one who loves his fellow men.”

    The Angel wrote, and vanished. The next night
    It came again with a great wakening light,
    And showed the names whom love of God had blessed,
    And, lo! Ben Adhem’s name led all the rest!

    It had little or no cadence to it, but it does rhyme.

    Here is one by Whitman:

    WHEN I heard the learn’d astronomer;
    When the proofs, the figures, were ranged in columns before me;
    When I was shown the charts and the diagrams, to add, divide, and measure them;
    When I, sitting, heard the astronomer, where he lectured with much applause in the lecture-room,
    How soon, unaccountable, I became tired and sick;
    Till rising and gliding out, I wander’d off by myself,
    In the mystical moist night-air, and from time to time,
    Look’d up in perfect silence at the stars.

    Good luck in finding any cadence in that. It doesn’t even rhyme, yet it is unmistakeably a poem.

    Alex, you did good. :-)

  10. Alex Knepper Says:

    I wrote this in iambic pentameter…

  11. marK Says:

    LOLOLOL :-D

  12. Illinoisguy Says:

    You’re right, but I don’t really care for them to be considered poetry.

  13. BobH Says:

    “I’m sorry,”

    You should be. :-)

  14. Win M. Says:

    This is pretty impressive. Composing in iambic pentameter is pretty freakin’ difficult.

  15. Win M. Says:

    “Good luck in finding any cadence in that. It doesn’t even rhyme, yet it is unmistakeably a poem.”

    That might elicit some disagreement. It’s not even blank verse.

  16. Gabriel Gadfly Says:

    I’m not a big politico, so I don’t even recognize half the names you mentioned (my fault for not paying enough attention to Washington), but the poem amused me.

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